The Ligher Side: Lexiphi...

Lexiphi (i.e., "lovers of words" - you know. . . like, you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish. . . or, I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. . . then it hit me. . . etc.). Well, here are some for you to enjoy. . . some old and some new....some stretched a bit too far! To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless. When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate. A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, . . . U.C.L.A. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky ground. The batteries were given out . . . free of charge. A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail. A will is a . . . dead giveaway. If you don't pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed. With her marriage, she got a new name . .. . and a dress. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you . . . A-flat miner. You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it. Local Area Network in Australia : . . . The LAN down under. A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat. When you've seen one shopping center . . . you've seen a mall. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . . resisting a rest. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? . . . He's all right now. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . .. jog your memory. A bicycle can't stand alone; . . . it is two tired. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism . . . it's your Count that votes. When a clock is hungry.... it goes back four seconds The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . was fully recovered. He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed. Those who get too big for their britches will be… exposed in the end. When she saw her first strands of gray hair . . . she thought she'd dye. Acupuncture: . . . a jab well done.